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About 20 years or so later, it happened again, so I went to see a cardiologist. Diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse, a benign enough condition that causes some blood backflow in the heart. It can also cause AFib.
Why do I have a bottle of baby aspirin?So then I followed up with, that if you go into AFib a clot won't form and give you a stroke and you'll die and you're only 42 with a wife and two small kids and one on the way and you don't want to have a stroke and die do you? fine, so I paraphrased that last bit there, but that was the gist of it: To prevent the possibility however remote of a stroke.
See, I have AFib atrial fibrillation and apparently, this is leading cause of strokes. Not the AFIb itself, but . oh, hell, I don't know. All I know is I'm 42, with a wife and two small kids and one on the way and .
Similar incident happened the other night, but now I've got my pills flecainide, if you must know, kept in both the aforementioned medicine cabinet and an emergency tablet in my wallet, for the love of Robert Jarvik and it settled things down.
And that's how I ended up back at the cardiologist, a month early for my checkup. And that's when he told me to take a baby aspirin a day.
And it stung. Yeah, it's only baby aspirin, I get that, but this is where it starts. We all know where it ends.
way home, I stopped at the pharmacy, bought the aspirin. Got home, put it on top of the Surfer Hair goop. Forgot about it, until the next morning, when I got out of the shower and there it was: The baby aspirin bottle. Staring at me. Like a squat, white, twisty cap version of the Grim Reaper himself.
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I was probably 12, 13 years old and I felt a in my chest. I told my dad, who took me to the doctor, who told me to calm down. It passed.
be roughly 20,000 baby aspirin.
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Which it most certainly did about six months ago, when I had a event that quickly transmogrified into a flip filippity flap BAP frum frum BUMBUM wack a wang dang doodle bumdiddyBUMbumBUM. I went to the hospital, was admitted, and it took four different medications to get my heart back in rhythm. Good times.
Now yes, of course I realize that of all the moments in a man's life, taking a baby aspirin does not normally qualify as But there I was, standing naked in my bathroom, mirrored face staring back at me, swallowing the first of what I hope will Zanotti Cruel
Got out of the shower, toweled off, opened up the medicine cabinet. That's where I put the bottle of baby aspirin. Makes sense, right? It's called the medicine cabinet for a reason. But that's not why I put it there. I put it there specifically, I put it on Giuseppe Zanotti Wedge Heels top of my Garnier Fructis Surfer Hair Power Putty so that I'd remember to pop an aspirin every morning before my always a failure attempt to make my locks look like some cross between the hair of Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Sean Penn, circa Times at Ridgemont High. yes. That's where I put my baby aspirin bottle.
A small dollop of mortality, in short.
'Surfer Hair' goop
I took a baby aspirin today.
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